Here is the joy of being crazy… Lots of people have realized that my abilities are nothing super human. To those of you who may not know, I have been diagnosed with BPD. Bi-polar Disorder. It’s a great disease. It’s a permission slip to act super happy and social one week, and (dandandantarandtah)… super, “why am I alive???” the next… the few reasons I love being sick, (to all you normal folks):
- I get phone calls everyday from loved ones making sure I haven’t done anything stupid.
- My life’s success criteria have been changed. They are “normal” now. You know my folks have lived a hard life and sacrificed a lot for me to be here today. I doubt you know much about my folks… one time I tried to interview them… and even to me, they said they’d rather not talk about it.
- I get to live life without a filter, and most people understand why. Sort of like a Tourette syndrome, but much cooler.
- Failure is not an option. When I live, and let live, that’s the sign of success. Just a short year ago… I wanted to be 6 feet under. It’s fun to see myself, walking on sunshine today, without much of a worry in the world.
- Meds meds meds… I love them. I won’t tell you what I’m taking, but it’s called an atypical antipsychotic. AAP for short. Well, in all goodness and joy… I want to redefine AAP. I believe AAP should stand for Almost Always Perky… To some it’s my ‘happy pill’. But actually as my definition states, it is about almost always being perky. Can you see me… un medicated? I am the sort of person who walks into a Starbucks and asks for a quad shot of espresso on ice. They say we only have decaf for you…
Does something in my presence scare people? I believe there is an unusual ability that I have to really make people want to distance themselves from me. You know, as a child, I love comic books. My favorite superhero for some time was Captain America America
Most people know me for having a big heart and mind. Some would call me sophisticated… Some would call me boorish. I can attest to the fact that I have a big mouth, big brain, big credit card bill, big worries for the world. Yet anatomically… Things weren’t so kind to me when we talk about big shoes and big hands… a/k/a… package size. Why do pretty blonde girls… (like ______) ask me… stuff like… “when you look down can you see it?” actually yes I can… when I’m in front of a mirror… duh…? Who’s blonde now?
A friend told me this one… A friend of the family manages a dry cleaning shop. He’s something like 55 years old. For the sake of the story, let’s call him… Mr. Kim. Mr. Kim was working one day, and there was a crackhead/degenerate who wanted to steal from the cash register in the store. Mr. Kim caught him red-handed. It was great… A struggle in sued. Skinned knees, and skinned elbows. The bad guy gets away. Sucks to be Mr. Kim… So you think…
Fast forward about 3 months. The cops come around and say… we caught your thief. Mr. Kim, in all of his seriousness says. Yeah so… The cops tell Mr. Kim, please come down to make a statement, and Mr. Kim in his modest and crass way says, I am too busy to leave the store. UNLESS…
To further their cause, and need for Mr. Kim to testify… they tell him that he’s a hero, and that the asst. district attorney wanted to thank him… At any rate… Mr. Kim came back with his unconditional request. The only way, I see to save time and to testify is if you drive me down to the courts with lights and sirens blaring, and bring me back the same way. Needless to say, the cops did so, and Mr. Kim is no longer 55 in my mind. His request and joy from lights and sirens, just inspired me and reminded me… We are all 7… we just grow old, and grow up and grow wide… The look on his face, and the look on all of your faces… reminds me… that we all aspire to be 7… let’s keep that youthful curiosity… and keep tickling each other til we pee in our pants…
Why do these words flow so well? I can’t even believe that I can type for hours like this. I never knew that there were so many thoughts in my big brown coconut of a skull… What I want the world to know is that… I grew up in a mafia like setting. I love the mafia. I don’t watch many movies, but have a brother and in-law who live for the Godfather box set. Me personally, I’ve always been more of a voyeur type. I liked comedy, and naked women…
I have to pause for a moment, and really thank all these men and women… who’s blood sweat tears and time have paved my way to be bold and confident that my words ought to be shared. You see, we live in such a dysfunctional society, that even my jokes take on a serious undertone… I can’t help it. I wish all was so fluid and easy… but it’s not. Each and every joke I have has caused someone a momentary stress. Making fun of you all for a living, sounds really fun and cool. But it gets old. I say let’s condemn all stupid people to a space, like antartica… and let them perish… I’d be the first one on that boat…
You know, I started my MBA, a part time night program… I was doing well. I am sort of that charismatic type… as you may know… at any rate, this is not even about my MBA, or my learning experience. The one thing I took away from my MBA is that I should rename it… MBA, Must Be Around… My wife called me out on getting this higher degree. She said… Why are you doing this? I said to make more money, and have a cushion to fall back on… needless to say that cushion has grown bigger and bigger… (show off my big back end)
I used to and should weigh 160 lbs. That was a great 2 weeks of my life.
My big monster just woke up… and is picking his nose. He’s looking for a video game controller… I should go now…
Be well,
ymjk
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