i am: yellow (kn)ig

hello world,

yes...
everyone
laughs
loudly
only
when


(kn)ow
is
good

1. i went jogging this morning... fat people don't run unless... but only for a limited time... FREE FOOD...

2. just to tell you a little bit about myself... i like lots of things, that's why i'm fat, and am many things, that's why i'm mentally disturbed... i'm a multi-cultural, multi-ethnic, multi-gmail address loving, numbers guy, with multiple personalities... i grew up in 11355, learned about the "hood" life in 10030, went to high school in 07450, went to college in 30332 and had learned how to dance merengue, and eat chimmichurris in 10033, started but did not complete my mba in 10010, lived 7 years in 10025 and now i live in 07024, with 1 wife..., an 1 imaginary dog, 1 stuffed cat, and the 2 children who own the pets...

3. i meet people from all walks of life... i meet people whose parents i guess name their children by when and how they were conceived... how people name their children is truly amusing to me... why do girls get all the cool names and guys get practical and functional names? a month ago i met a cute little girl named "miracle"... possibly a test tube or in-vitro situation... yesterday, i met a girl named paradise, probably a hawaii or thailand honeymoon baby... i have a friend who's father was stationed in japan, and named him yoko, short for yokohama. today i met a guy named broadway...

5. i mentioned i love numbers... i live in chaos but love the ordered paradigm that numbers put my life into... most people here will be hey dude, relax with the nickle and dime words... this is comedy not some S A T prep course... i say, just G O O G L E the word... P A R A D I G M.

6. my wife told me to do the dishes... i said how, there's no holes in the dishes...

7. people don't listen to me... because i talk to much... i'm going to do my best to use the silent treatment on them to punish them... not likely that it will work, but never hurt to try...

thoughts of confusion...

1. mind control makes me a yellow nig
2. being poor is much worse than being dumb
3. mcdonald's and fat people are going to overtake the world
4. be on time... there is very few things in life that bother people more than waiting
5. know good and useful people... they can fix any of your biggest woes
6. my blackberry has become part of my family
7. why do we take care of things better than we take care of our bodies?
8. having too much is just as bad as having too little and wanting too much
9. quotable quotes: nobody can ever keep life straight enough to remember what is memorable
10. is remembering what happens in your life a gift or a curse?
11. i wake up absurdly early, i have no real good reason, other than the fact that it is quiet out and easier to stream ideas...
12. numbers... why is it that we have such an affinity for numbers? "numbers never lie"... they lie, if you pay them enough
13. simple things like opera tickets change the way our life goes
14. coercion is not cool... go with the flow... make things happen for all the right reasons, everybody wants something, it is my job to find out what that is...
15. why don't i get along with single white females? they are the bane of my existence
16. cooking... my brain is cooking right now
17. overdrive, override, overclockin' overt, overbearing, overthrow, overtime, overlook, ovary? i know i wasn't supposed to come from an ovary...
18. why is embarrassment so powerful? people don't want to be embarrassed, but being famous is embarrassing
19. picking my nose, ass and balls and on yous guys and myself... that's fun... why can't you just admit it?
20. names and thoughts... aren't they the same? i can't remember anyones name for the life of me... unless you make me wonder why you exist... if that happens, i will use mind control to make you not exist...
21. thongs... got to love them... girls who wear thongs make me smile... boys who wear thongs make me cry in joy and disbelief
22. 4 days a month... my wife hates me, and i hate to go home...
23. you know, everyone wants something from someone... why is it when i go to starbucks i get whatever i want... and then when i go to retro fitness i just get a cold shoulder... i think it is because starbucks is where people to get revitalized, and the gym is where people to get their rage out...
24. as a comedian... being white hot is scary... out of control is scary, out of your mind... NATURAL...
25. making love is not what most men enjoy... making love is necessary to end the whole thing with a big finish... everyone loves a big finish...
26. my fingers are so good... my wife says she wants em so bad... i just wonder what amputees do to please themselves and their partners...
27. why do i have so many random thought? it's the greatest show/spectacle on earth to wonder and call people out as you see em...
28. nobody supports good and humorous guessing anymore... everyone wants to see the "proof or statistics..." how do you feel about that?
29. as an analytic... nothing makes sense unless you realize up front, that nothing will make sense... just let it happen
30. technology venture capital firms are throwing money at ideas... i'm an idea... andreesen horowitz..., i was a catcher as a kid..., i'm ready to catch if you're ready to throw...
31. the word on the street is that sand hill road is where all the rich boys hang, play and flaunt their profits... get me on that road, and get me on it now...
32. struggling to gain my confidence... i'm the most mentally confident person that i've met today... remember i don't get out much.
33. i live with a woman who lived through an earthquake... i'm surprised she likes it when we shake boots, and our bed...
34. feeling trapped is fine, as long as you see a glimmer of hope... never feel that you are in eternal darkness, that is when the game gets ugly... almost nobody likes ugly..., ugly babies don't exist... but ugly spouses are the norm? what's going on with that?
35. the random fact of the day... did you know... the circumference of your fist is the length of your foot? those of you who are asking the person next to you what circumference is... just google it...
36. so many terms and words that don't exist anymore... what happens to all the obsolete words? all the new words get on urbandictionary.com, i don't see any fairness in that... new is cool, and old is lame? i'm old you know... forgotten is not obsolete, but it might as well be... nobody wants to be forgotten
37. all my words should have a micro-printed disclaimer...
38. i don't know where you are from, i just hear where you are from and create my own story
39. creativity is lacking... creativity is genius... creativity is juvenile... creativity is purpose... let's get creative!
40. if safety is first, what's second?
41. why do we define ourselves by what we do for a paycheck? i think it's foolish to pigeon-hole ourselves... why then, do we use idiotic words like pigeon-hole? i'm am an aspiring renaissance man.
42. jobs and responsibilities are some of the most toxic ideas out there when taking risk
43. limitations are self imposed, but societally enforced
44. when i spin out of control, i just need to back away and touch myself...
45. why do the words german and swiss evoke precision, american evokes wasteful, african evokes hungry and poor, and asian evokes small ding a ling?
46. too many items on a menu are not better, just two items, maybe three please
47. i have a friend who counts steps... she is a bit ocd... but i asked her why she doesn't wear a pedometer... i think she doesn't want to count that high... winners build on the past and build their own progressive jackpot, status quo'ers just count to 11 and reset, and repeat...
i'm out... peace and safety to all... have a great day!

when honesty hurts, and when you just don't get it...

you know, two days ago... seems so short... will have to meet this thought a bit later...

right now, it's 5:00 am, and the birds are chirping and the world is starting to wake up... i love the tranquility and peace at this time of day. i will probably be heading to the gym soon. i have come to the realization that i have missed being healthy and active...

so let me talk about the events of two days ago, before they leave my consciousness... i was in fort lee, nj, looking for a job... i had a few great conversations with a few different sort of people. one of them was a 50+ caucasian female. i continued to share details of my life and she did hers. she was a retiree of amc movie theater working most of her career as a cashier, and finally retiring as head cashier. she has a simple but wonderful life alone. she works two jobs and makes time pass. she enjoys her solitude at home and seemed like a sincere and kind person. the fun/stress started when i made a passing comment... totally intended to be a joke, but ill perceived on the listener's part...

the comment was something to the tune of, "if i don't find a job, to get out of my house, i will k*$l my wife"...

i put that statement all by itself, because it almost seems bad... but doing funny, with not so funny consequences is the point of my story here... i left the building and was followed to the at&t store... some police officer walked up to me and asked me, if this was my car... i said yes, (thinking that he wanted to buy it, or was admiring it from afar)... at any rate, 3 police vehicles converge, and i'm asked a barrage of questions... the only question i didn't want to answer was, what my social security number was... (what does that do with anything criminal?) where i am coming from, what i'm doing and the like. they never got offensive, they never got rough, (thank god that i'm not black)... the long and the short of this story is that cops have a tendency to over-react... they made a simple "joke" into something hugely time consuming... they rushed 3 police officers to my daughter's school where my wife was acting as class mother, at the year end picnic...

the officers asked my wife if i ever had violent tendencies, or if she felt in danger with me... in all honesty world, i'm not the violent type or even the aggressive sort... what it means to me to be a threat to anything or anybody is... i'm a threat to food... i'll hurt that big mac and make it disappear. as the people who personally know me, already might know, i've been married for about 10 years now, and have 2 wonderful little people to take care of... being violent and being silly is not my idea of being a respectful or good role model. why do most adults in this world forget that the most important thing is to leave this world just a bit better than we found it...

all in all, this story will become very long winded and i was given an option to be detained in fort lee, in which a medical professional would come by and examine me, or if i would go to a hospital. i decided that going to the hospital would be faster. boy, i was wrong... being cooped up at holy name hospital for 3-4 hours was seriously an ordeal. the only persons who really worked at anything was the discharge nurse, and the physician's assistant, and the various security guards that i chatted with. everyone else that i encountered was a total mess. into their own thing, and not helping at all... the brown lady, indian, pakistani, or the like... who drew my blood didn't pay attention to me... she said i felt a big vein here... well, there is no way to tell you this more bluntly... if i tell you not to draw blood from my arm... why do you insist on doing so?

why is it that starbucks work thoughts and work flows cannot be used at a hospital emergency room? i don't get it... since i came in, when people change shifts, i had to do two psych evals and people who say sorry, when they have no heart in their words... fake people are hurting society much more than honest, sincere people ever will. why be a nurse if you don't care? why be a healthcare worker if you think you are better/smarter or more able than your patient's experience? i would say most of these females in the e.r. chose their profession because they are in it for monetary gains or the benefits packages which come with their employment. world... please love what you do, and do and live your life with passion. there is too much just gotta' get it done in this world going around. the one good take away, which i already knew is that i am hypertensive. hyper people should be hyper tensive... what a freakin' genius' conclusion! empathy is lacking in the hospital... empathy is lacking in the real world society... change it, or ignore it... i rather change it thank you very much...

all the best,
jk

being afraid of life...

i have been sharing with quite a few people lately, how their life is...

quite frankly, everyone is looking for a job, or a means to pay bills... just yesterday, i talked to a fellow named dave c., and he has founded a company called the new york social network, and works with 8 minute dating in manhattan. he may just be one of the coolest people i've met (on the phone, yet to physically meet). while sharing with him on the phone, i found out that my dreams of being a matchmaker, love finder and passion sharer... he said something very poignant... i lead them to water, it's their choose to drink. the one couple which he actually 'matched' ended in divorce. he is directly/indirectly responsible for about 60 marriages. how cool...

on every page, and every space, there should be contrast. on the other side, there is an old college roommate that i had shared less than a year with. his code name is peach boy... if you are of japanese origin, you might understand what i'm talking about. he's my age, and researching and re-centering his life around script writing... that's pretty damn amazing considering he came from an electrical engineering background. pretty effin groovy, but not having felt the intimacy and surrealistic effects of love and passion has held him back. actually he is in love with rachel mcadams, and i don't know what that means, but he has 2 way telepathic communication with her. that's neat isn't it?

let me go to the gym before i turn into a pile of poop...

all the best to you and yours,
may the force be with you,
ymjk

thoughts of the day...

i was thinking to myself... in the past few days

1. all girls love other girls... and sometimes their spouses suffer... and as social beings we need to let these interactions flourish...
2. had an epiphany, about what one can talk about... a little liquid lubrication and the topics fly out...
3. my wife had a field trip to an adult novelty store, and she was surprised
4. reading is so fun... but sometimes, being overwhelmed by the quantity of reading can be paralyzing...
5. fire... such a basic thing, but why is it so many modern men don't know how to get a good quality barbecue fire going...
6. i love the smell of my 'kkochu'... just something random....
7. why is it most of my best ideas happen while taking a shower?
8. why is it that my daughter takes so long to put on her tights? why did we create such difficult items for children to put on? go get/make some children's spanx
9. today is the best day of your life...
10. why can we understand so much more when we are not being defensive?
11. love is in the air, why are we so caught up in love... but not able to take meaningful actions to pursue love...?

all for now,
jk

sad, silly, marvelous...

good morning world,

it seems that the head creative at garden state plaza has put me on an infinite hold from being a 'student' at the garden state plaza. i have a 'one to one' registration, that i highly recommend people look into. interestingly, i asked for a reason... interestingly, i asked for it in writing... to that, i have to wait.
the scenario:

1. tall(er) white guy, (i am 5'6", so that's almost any white guy) comes up to me and introduces himself. you know... this is not the first time for me to be reprimanded by a 'manager/owner'. i always say, if you talk loud enough, you will be heard... that's the case in this situation... you jokingly (she didn't think it was a joke) call a female a 'female dog', and you call another one indirectly 'f*t', it might get you in trouble. it is sort of a random occurence to get 'flagged' for inappropriate behavior. it is fun nonetheless. the only inconvenience found is that i have to go to the city. quite actually, and simply, a fun journey into the city usually follows, so it's a blessing in disguise. but even though those two perceptions were correct to me at the time, it's a bit sad, that they welcome me to shop there, simply not to learn there. big business, and all its wonder. lovely... looked up ron johnson's email address for apple. not that lucky.

picked up my son, (he's on spring break)
2. went to the gym, and blew off some steam. that was cool. retrofitness hackensack... holla'... i met up with a former sb barista, code named 'pokemon'... he's doing well... will have to share more about him at a later time. in addition, what can i say? met a couple muscle bound dudes, whom were totally not 'stereotypical', so i must say that most of my stereotypes are wrong, but the 30 percent that are correct... are embarrassingly on target.

3. spent some quality at the sprint store on 71ish and b'way. those are my peeps over there. they are totally into fixing problems, and joking around. what a wonderful mix of characteristics... why does work have to be so forced?

4. another afternoon at the uws apple store, my son loves that place. we should get a cot, and just hang... the audio system, the dull but incredibly loud murmur of this place. quite amazing... you can honestly lose yourself in this space. live music from a julliard ensemble, instructional/tutorial programs daily, if not more often... some really groovy folks over here. infinitely a 'cooler' spot than my former gsp digs, but nonetheless... corporate america and it's breathren unite... the evil monster of big business lives strong amonst us...

5. dinner at one of my usual turkish spots. anderson diner, in cliffside park... good stuff. eat til you can't walk yummy...

i'm out folks, it's been real, it's been cathartic... be well, and lovin' it...

ymjk

thinking too much...

dear world,

i just deep sixed the hell out of my first live monologue... it is so different than reacting... creating is the essence of fun, and funny...

1. got to suck to be loved...

2. got to be loved... to be sucked...

not knowing how to react to 'normal' people... is that a problem? charisma and bluntness don't go together very well... why is it that there are such things as beautiful funny people...

innuendo...

preparation...

what is the problem with eavesdropping?

i cannot speak and make sense to everyone... just have to pick and choose carefully.

old friend

hello world,

my wife has a great saying... if i don't know him/her... they are not your friends. i really like the way that sounds. sort of harsh, but it resonates the truth. i have an informal rule... friendship takes at least 10 years to nurture. it seems that sometimes you can be friends in a very short time, but the reality is without trials and tribulations... friendships and relationships which are not tested... cannot be proven to be strong or worthy.

how many of you know that i am 'crazy'? i am having a very hard time turning off my brain... i am wondering what set this emotion off? is it the coffee??? is it the high iq that i'm purported to have? is it some strange bizarre gravitational pull that the aligned stars have altered? i don't get it sometimes, but all of these thoughts are too much. frankie goes to hollywood said it best... "relax"... you know my old friend and i spent a few hours together, and had a more than enjoyable time together. we went through an interrogation together, by my father, and those are the moments that are truly quite unique in my heritage/culture.

respect for the oldest person in a room is quite strong... it's a great and strong emotion when used for good. when it is abused... it can be quite ugly.

let me go to the gym for now...
all the best,
ymjk

living with excess

dear world,
i have so many emotions regarding what is going on in this society and world that we live in:
1. the wildest/strangest thing i heard this past week was a young female hispanic rep. from the nation of islam talk about an earthquake machine...
2. fat albert aka h-lover... is late for work almost every day... interestingly enough, so am i.
3. i am committed to trying to keep myself away from going to 'work'. i must love what i do, and am committed to thinking of it as my passion and not as of work.
4. my former co-worker has gotten very skinny as of late, and unfortunately that to a lot of people means that she is sick... sucks to be fat... sucks even more, to try and get healthy and be called sickly.
5. taking care, and talking to the tenants of my domain... what a riot...
6. i imagine that life is going to be a bed of roses, and challenges. world, i have to focus on the problems we want to solve and the world that we want...
7. met a dude who is living in china... he's super cool. he created a foster home for chinese youth. AMAZING STORY. IMPACTFUL LIVING... want details?
http://www.agapeflh.org
first and foremost... i wonder if everyone knows what agape is:

Agape is one of the Greek words translated into English as love, one which became particularly appropriated in American Christian theology as the love of God or Christ for mankind (pronounced /ˈæɡəpiː/[1] and sometimes /əˈɡɑːpeɪ/ after the Classical Greek agápē; Modern Greek: αγάπη [aˈɣapi]). Many have thought that this word represents divine, unconditional, self-sacrificing, active, volitional, and thoughtful love.

i am in tears... i should share with you another time... please look around, share your gifts, and your desire to make things better. you must take the tour of the agape house. i love it, and love love... does that make sense?

all the best,
ymjk

random thoughts...

profiling people for fun:

1. some old man sits next to my daughter at my neighborhood starbucks... i'm totally more than happy to share my daughter's smiles with anyone. he's a typical grand dad and totally positive and smiley. we trade personal details, and i expected not to really like this person. it's awfully sad to think that prejudice is one of the biggest obstacles to meeting wonderfully new people, and having new adventures in life.

2. my dad is my hero and role model. but let me say simply being human, is really sobering.

3. my son is getting detention today for being violent and kicking a little girl in her class in the shin. i think she likes him, and he doesn't like her. sux to be little girl.

4. i have been practicing my rock paper shoot skills lately. i've built up a mental worksheet in my mind. my daughter is happy to help me win, because she usually shows her scissors... don't tell her i told you this...

5. my wife went to a very typical fund raising dinner. over pay for nominally edible food. she brought back some left overs... the fun thing is that as long as i am hungry, i'll eat almost anything. tpo, time, place and occasion.

6. met up with an old childhood friend. his mom is in failing health. i am sympathetic to his family. grand ma has lived a 101 years. sort of poetic and divine intervention. bless those who live good, honest, hard lives.

7. i need some sugar.

all the best to you and yours,
ymjk

coming to you from cliffside park, next to a big hole...

hello world,

what can i say? i'm typing from a space called anderson diner & bakery. it is located at 703 anderson avenue in cliffside park, nj. the future of cliffside park towne center. what i must say is that it is a hidden gem... i love this place! i personally know the owners. they are great people... stop by sometime.
to date, i've had 3 meals there...
1. bronzini, aka mediterranean sea bass
2. kahvalti tabagi, aka breakfast platter
3. the appetizer plate, karisik meze
can i just say, all of their dishes have been amazing. their hospitality has been awesome. it's quiet and they have free wifi... I'M CONVINCED!

let me say this... some unsung heroes of my world... my parents, my partners in business, and those many acquaintances who make this day enjoyable and unique...

i am going to write and share some jokes for a while... let's see if you like em...

- i met a 3 turkish guys... they were eating at my new fave spot... i sat down next to them, and they looked at me as if i was going to sell them some bootleg dvd's... i was thinking... is that what i look like to you?

- people always ask me where i'm from... it really confuses me... because i ponder... what is it that they really want to know? i say, i'm korean sometimes, i'm hispanic sometimes, i'm jewish sometimes, and i'm mostly american... let me just say... not most people take being american too well...

- i just met a woman from panama... and she totally threw me for a curve... never judge a book by its cover... i'd be totally buried... if i was right all the tie, and wrong as well...

- just had a turkish dish called tulumba... yum yum...

ttyl,
ymjk

it's been a few days... welcome back to the internet ymjk...

hello world,

cuckoo log:
meds: none
food: way too much, my daylight fast is only in effect monday-friday
physical activity: minimal
outlook: positive

disjointed thoughts:
1. how does this all go down? i have been watching quite a lot of pbs lately. and some of the most interesting things that i realized is that in modern society, nobody really creates anything with their hands anymore. what a crying shame...

ON THAT NOTE, AND TO CONTRADICT THAT CLAIM:
2. my family and i went to a great space to hang/eat and share yesterday... it's called brooklyn commune, you can check it out at www.brooklyncommune.com. the co-owners are chris and eugenie. i must be transparent, and say... i've known eugenie for approx. 20-25 years... she is a dear old friend of mine. both chris and eugenie are my role models of the day for following through on your passion and realizing, you are the only one holding you back from doing what you really want or need...

at the brooklyn commune, i ate their blt, their pork sandwich, and nibbled on my son's grilled chicken and cheese sandwich. all of their stuff was out of this world. the beverage of the day was their half and half grapefruit drink... it's their 'pink' stuff, not too sweet, not too tart... liquid joy... try their hand made pickles... very unique, very artesanal... we were lucky enough to meet one of the sous chefs from fish tag. we will try it out one of these days.

3. after the brooklyn commune, we stopped by at the park slope food co-op. we got a tour and was really impressed on how a band of neighbors can come together to make such an amazing retail/community/sharing/food-centric space. (http://foodcoop.com/).

4. at church, heard a great sermon on bargains, value, and what is god worth to me. it was super sweet to think of all the bargain hunting that i've done in my life... i must become a reformed bargain hunter. i don't need more stuff in my life, but unfortunately enjoy having stuff. isn't this the push/pull situation that is inevitable?

5. we went to prospect park so my children could ride on their bicycles. they had a lot of fun. but at the end of our stay at prospect park, my son zoomed away and for a few minutes was 'lost'. at no time was i too worried because i know my child... he memorized my cell phone number and lots of random phone numbers... i was confident that he would just use the numbers and knowledge to his benefit... never trust a 7 year old to do what's logical...

as i walked back the path that we used to enter the park, i saw my son with an older man riding back to the entrance. he said, "you broke the rules, you HAVE to ride the path you entered"... unfortunately, the pathway in which we entered was a bit more hilly than the one we took. my 5 year old daughter was leading the charge, and is allergic to work, aka she is not willing to pedal extra hard up hills...

as it turned out, all was fine... my son started to cry in the car... i retorted..., "don't cry... it's not as if we wanted to abandon you"

he replied quite tersely, "you wanted to throw me away because i'm stupid"

let me tell you folks... as brash, boastful, and better anyone acts... there is just a neglected, love starved child inside him or her. just give them a hug and that is the road to a solution.

i, in closing... want to add, all is well... it's a bright sunny day, and the chill in the air in invigorating...

all the best to you and yours,
ymjk

a few words from the morning...

hello world,

morning update:

meds: none
physical activity: minimum
food intake: not normal, details later
mental stability: average

one of my close 'church brothers', js, texted me last night. "got the JAPAN bracelets", want a sample? meet me at the men's group... i was like... is this extortion? it sounded like it... actually, i looked up the word extortion just now... and the concept of extortion relies on coercion... so, the offer/event does not classify as extortion, more like a bribe...

a few details on the meeting. i believe there were 6 or 7 middle aged men, discussing c.s. lewis' book 'mere christianity'. it was a tough discussion to say focused and awake... a warm space, a talk about morality... yawn yawn yawn... but i survived. it was very very reminiscent of my college days in physics lecture. that was one of my aha moments in life. if you are going to sleep in a lecture of a 200 + make sure that you are not in the front row. all in all, this experience follows the paradigm, if it don't kill you it makes you stronger.

so after the discussion, we all dispersed and i had the munchies. i had to stop by fort lee pizza to get my fix of pizza. sicilian slices from both fort lee pizza and donna's pizza are my idea of a complete meal. i think i could do fort lee pizza in the morning, and end the day with a sicilian slice from donna's. so where does this all lead? do i have a compulsion for sicilian pizza? ABSOLUTELY... i have many compulsions and addictions, it is a process of not being bored... for a week, i'm into yoga, for a week, i'm into sicilian pizza, for a week, i'm into cannolis, for a week, i'm into sports medicine and surgery, for a week, i'm into cars, for a week, i'm into 'get rich quick schemes'... these are all methods to my madness... the last thing i want in life is to be static and remain the same...

you know, there is a really ironic thing about my personal technology... i don't get half of the phone calls, that are placed to me... is that part of being exclusive? i have no idea... i think my phone is being snobby.

net net:
1. discussions about morality make me sleepy
2. i love sicilian pizza
3. my phone is being super selective, so i'm sorry if i don't answer...

all the best,
ymjk

not cool... i am NOT COOL...

dear world,

i'm chatting up my younger cousin, who happens to be in college now... she and i were on fb, and she asked me, "what are you doing?", i replied... "chillaxin..." she said that's not cool... my question for the masses is why is it that the youth get to dictate what is cool, and not? it's not fair that younger people have the carte blanche to make society uncomfortable, because they are no longer hip???

yes, i admit it... i lost all my coolness. i'm a 'grown up' now... i did just see the movie of the same name and it sucked... but it's cute to see adam sandler do what he does best, and make a lot of money doing it. i met adam sandler briefly when he was filming little nicky... it was a chance encounter and i made him say something in korean... epic failure... but it was cute regardless. the quote of the day is, when my wife wife asked, "am i chubby?"... red flags should go up to any husband, it is a trap!!! no answer is the best answer, or casually avoiding the topic in its entirety would be wisest...

let me let you go... i've got lots of chores to take care of...

ttyl,
ymjk

managing ideas/relationships/stuff/memories/normalcy...

dear world,

managing and changing ideas:
i just wanted to start this entry by saying, i've had a wonderful week... the weather is warming, the birds are returning and chirping and there seems to be hope and happiness at the end of this harsh, snowy and unforgiving winter... it's daylight savings time... thanks to this custom/law/social norm... i'm proud to say that we lost the dreary long darkness, and now have an extra hour of daylight... the people behind daylight savings time, are freakin' geniuses! i wish i was that cool/respected, to have the entire free world respect my ideas, and change their concept and perception of time... how cool is that???

managing one's concept of time... that's some really sweet power to have. the more time i spend at places like church and school, the more i see the power to shape ideas, and the way people live... i love school and i love church for some very unique reasons... school is a place where you can openly doubt... church is a place where you can openly have blind faith... school is a place where you can go to be loud and seen... and interestingly enough chuch is the same sort of place for me... a safe haven... i suppose it really depends on your peer group at your respective school or church...

managing relationships:
the other day, i was at one of my favorite coffee shops and in comes in a group of young asian folks... one of the guys says, "you are, paco, (names changed to protect the innocent) right?" i was like oh my goodness, i know we all look alike, and all... how do you know my name? and he said, we met a while ago at "__________ church"... playing ping pong... i was like, yeah, that's me... at any rate they are related / work for a chuch that i visited and played ping pong at "once"...

to me it's uncanny, that somebody can remember a single person, a single incident and just file it away in their memory... i would like to share with the world that i have been soliciting for a scholarship for a study abroad program while i was in college. (go jackets!)... i've made a few phone calls, and sent out a few emails, and voila... i spoke to a friend from way back in the day, and he simply asked me, how much i needed to fulfill the scholarship... i said, we have pledges of $1100.00 and a goal of $6500.00, and he said he would pledge $2000.00 and match up to another $2000.00. i was floored to hear such a kind and generous offer... remember world, tis about the relationships, experiences and memories we make... not so much anything else... as a quick digress, i would like to speak of the lessons learned during my summer abroad in chile, some umpteen years ago...

1. whenever there is a 'vaca' (a spanish term used to call a collection of money)... if you have some issues with the funds, it's usually the pretty girls who are at fault... they don't do arithmetic naturally, and they use their physical beauty as a "oh i'm dumb", "sorry" way out...

2. trust your instincts... i did a lot of hitch-hiking in chile... it just felt right, so i did it...

3. drink and be merry... even though my liver told me otherwise, liquid lubrication is one of the key factors to why i had learned spanish, and the chilean culture so quickly.

4. love is in the air... a lot of my peers fell in love while in chile... love is a wonderfully uplifting emotion. i unfortunately was not lucky in love in chile, but the experience made me a better person.

5. cutting the ropes that held me in place... and marching to my own beat... this is to mean that my parents, especially my mother... until that point in my life, had a "death grip" on my life, and what i aspired to be... living abroad gave me the independence and the chutzpa to march to my own drummer...

managing memories/normalcy:

even as a young boy, it was always asked... "what do you want to be when you grow up?", as a canned response, my father would always say... "it doesn't matter, what you do, just be the best"...

money and one's talents are tools, thus they should be spent in a most meaningful and impactful way... so for all of you who are listening and have lots saved up, and feel comfort and security from all those riches, i say... you are letting time pass and you should use your blessings for the greater good...

the convo. definitely was one of these enligthtening ones. we all pretty much share the same background growing up here in bergen county... dreaming of fast cars, and pretty girls... some people grow up to be pastors, businessmen, hedgefund gurus, teachers, lawyers, doctors... my answer to all that is... i will be a little bit of everyone, and connect the dots... as a generalist, and as a person who knows somebody in some really random positions, it's always nice to be able to point out people who are looking for work, and those who are offering it...

in this modern world of ours, normalcy... or balance is the HARDEST thing to do. i am good at everything i touch or want to do, but being normal is not being good... let's all open our minds and hearts to all the extraordinary crazy people in the world... they are doing some amazing stuff, they are just misunderstood... with that i will close by saying... hug a crazy person... it's necessary.

peace, and until next time,
ymjk

i hate to say that charlie sheen does not amuse me...

hello world,

the latest and greatest person of note is charlie sheen. he's truly a MESS! i don't know why we (society) are so enamored by his weird comments... having the latest and greatest charlie sheen news... he's a moving train ready to crash.

been there done that... it's not fun to lose everything... maybe it's a necessary part of healing, but i want to tell the world that too many people are relying on him to be normal, for it to be fun or interesting to me.

i am in a similar space in regards to hating this notion of 'judgement'... why is it so ironic that only strange/unique/bizarre people are always anti-judgement? it is because they are the ones being judged. hate judgement, but love those people who laugh/smile with us.

new ipad is going to be launched... isn't that wonderful? i think it's a great product and has really pushed creativity and the realm of reality possible.

let's talk later...
ymjk

born for industrial espionage... this is what i hear...

hey people...

i was born for industrial espionage...

i don't know what provokes me to want to listen in on convos.

i have very bad luck talking to redheads... i was ripped a new one by a hypersensitive - cultural woman who was just having a bad day b/c i told her that her lack of desire/joy for shopping and headbags made her non-female

i overhear and have read... "serial killer", i'm "expecting... by next months, we will have a new addition, to our family"

i can't tell you that there is any meaning to any of these ramblings, but i would love to share the fact that i am next to a computer programmer, and he is just aimlessly driving a convo. with yeah yeah yeah yeah... please shoot me before you talk like this to me... BORING!

on a more interesting note... met a Dr. M today and he's super smart and a great listener... i like those attributes... his sis, a super cool employee at a great raquetballer and a father of a 4 year old daughter... i was like... u and i can jam and talk all day long... very very cool. sadly he will be moving to san diego very shortly... thank god for these opps., regardless

let me let u go...

ttyl,
ymjk

a time to ponder...

dear world,
i typically wake up pretty randomly early. i like morning. i like peace and quiet, if i'm in solitude. i don't like to be messed with when i'm feeling most creative. the greatest thing about being unique, (even though i'm not even close to unique) is that going against the grain gives me great pleasure. going against the grain hurts at times, but those little bumps and bruises are what keeps me frustrated and energetic for the next experience.
let me go to church now, but let me say one final thing... love... love unconditionally... love with all your heart... your moments/days on this planet are finite...
be well,
ymjk

talkin' to my man mr. R

cuckoo log:
meds: minimal
physical activity: minimal

thoughts of the day

1. mr. R, is here, we are here in one of my favorite places, and let me tell you... there is this guy... he had a catastrophic brain injury because of a car accident. he was in a coma for 35 days. he is now 53 years old, and really one of the most forthright/honest/straightforward people that i have met in a long time. this entire entry can be about mr. R... his biggest achievement was union negotiations. he was married for 3 years... his former wife came down with multiple sclerosis... and she left him... this ex wife is lost and gone... moved to pittsburgh, back to her mother and family... from nyc... oh boy, this guy roy is a piece of work... he's a character...
the first time he want over to his ex wife's place, their family made them a pork dinner. he was an honorary dinner... but a ham is totally against mr. R's religious beliefs. he is a jew...

hold on, let's talk about how they met... mr. R was a field engineer for some uk lighting company. he was flown all over the world, and he would fix computer lighting and stage lighting systems. he was in newark airport, and both he and she were going through the food line, and he was accustomed to going through the food line backwards... he usually carried a 70 lbs. tool box, and when he and she came face to face, he clearly stated, "i'm not going to fight you"... a jew meets a german... classically ironic... classic to see that a person like mr. R would be hooked up like that.

he is a brain injury advocate, and part of the state traumatic brain injury advisory, (tbia). so his volunteering is his 'work'... works with the brain injury association of america... here we go, we are going to ask 20 random ass questions:

1. so what do you do for fun?
A. sail on other people's boats, scuba diving, just hang out and do support groups. talking politics

2. where were you born?
A. Brooklyn, NY, grew up in Tenafly and moved to Fort Lee when I was in high school

3. best lesson for young people?
A. To believe to be in yourself and find the right mentor

4. what's a typical day like?
A. going to Starbucks, going to meetings, going to the advisory boards

5. what languages do you speak?
A. English, English, English

6. what's your favorite place on earth?
A. any nude resort aka Hedonism in Jamaica

7. your first car was?
A. i don't even remember, i think it was a buick that i bought for $50.00

8. how many brothers and sisters do you have?
A. one of each. both younger

9. what's your favorite movie?
A. something with van dam or schwartzenegger

10. are your parent's still alive?
A. Yes, i have one father and 2 mothers, they are all alive

11. what is your claim to fame?
A. i had an open ticket to the electricians union hall, local 3. to keep world financial center moving.

12. i heard something that we have in common... are you paid to stay alive?
A. Yes

13. if you could be anywhere but here, where would you be?
A. no where but home, near my family

14. when you were little you wanted to be?
A. a fighter pilot... what i would have liked to be was an air force pilot, and because of my vision, and i went to military school.... then i wanted to be a nuclear sub commander, but because of the anti-semitism, i could not

15. what do you think about the 'centuria project'?
A. i cry for all the politicians that really want to make something happen, and get so dragged down by individual interest. the aura is marvelous the details (of politics) destroy it every single time.

16. i heard you love your mac... why?
A. i used to build large scale networks for merrill lynch, we rolled out a 50K router network. my mac is so simple that no matter what i do to it, i can restore it back to a working state.

17. so if you could change one thing in the world what would it be?
A. making people speak the truth, an honesty detector on everyone's forehead

18. what question would you like to ask me?
A. what made you respond to me? my answer is: a challenge, and you are unique...

19. i heard that while you were in rehab, they discharged you early for being annoying... is there truth to that?
A. my first rehab facility kicked me out because they told me that i wouldn't ever make it into a wheel chair.

20. your life is one of advocacy, joy and education... how did your fight for mobility change your perspective on the world around you?
A. it didn't, and i will tell you why... ever since i was little, i always had issues. when i was 6 years old, i got my first pair of glasses, when i put them on, the first thing i said, was that is what the world looks like. so growing up with less than wonderful vision, it was the first time to see the "real world". compared to being blind, being a quadriplegic was easy. in addition, i always had dyslexia so there was always some obstacle to overcome... being a quadriplegic was just a situation and a momentary setback.

to be continued...

random thoughts to ponder...

good day world,

it goes like this:

1. my friend's new nickname is pickle... she plays the french horn professionally, and lives in poland, loves to swing dance, and was recently married... good luck pickle, hope everything around around you doesn't get too sour... then i'll just have to rename you ogórek kiszony/kwaszony; slang: kiszeniak... which is a polish pickle

2. i was pondering how good i have become washing dishes... it's almost sad to think that my wife expects me to dishes now... sucks to be good at stuff

3. why did the fact that my son asking me, "daddy, how do you eat spaghetti with a fork"? everlast a lot of other funny thoughts?

4. my wife has the "perfect nose"

5. i am right at this moment while i type my entry..., listening to japanese comedy... i don't even understand japanese

6. my parents are the best people i have ever met... but why is it sometimes that i want to run away?

7. new realm of possibility... flying solo... grab control of your disco stick, and go where ever your heart and mind desires

8. this past week i had jury duty... met a wonderful dude nicknamed spicoli... i think he and i might be business partners sometime. cafe con piernas... coming to a location near you...

9. blondes are not dumb... they are just ignorant... they give great hugs ;)

10. hangin around new york city... it is so close, yet we often overlook all the cool things going on. i have pictures to prove that i love just being goofy... but it would be against my better judgment to release them.

11. my kids are jewels. my kids are my heart. when they shine i shine. when they hurt, i hurt... but what is it about jewels and your heart, that most of the general public refuses to show them off, or wear them out loud... i don't get it...

all for now,
jk

one of my new fave movies... "eat love pray"

dear world,

cuckoo log:

meds: have done without for the past few weeks. in lieu of meds, a good deal of television, movies, and flying solo... has worked wonderfully well.
physical activity: minimal

thoughts:

1. i just watched a very cute movie with julia roberts... "eat love pray" two thumbs up
2. yesterday i went to a borders... actually more hung out at the coffee shop more than anything else. i met a few very memorable people... one of the most memorable was a young female and her nickname is "ja ji"... if you have korean knowledge... it's just funny
3. another boy i met was an 'inventor'... i was having a personal conversation and was talking about nigger mentality... everyone seems to harbor some. it's really a sad case in life, when honesty hurts so much...
4. a young man... much my equal, but in reverse... very similar to me, but my polar opposite... he is bi polar depressed. we are both on atypical anti-psychotics, his made by eli lilly, mine is made by astra zeneca... overall very happy to be sick.
5. another gal swore to me that she never stole anything... i called her a liar. everyone steals. everyone sins. everyone wishes bad things to some other person/thing at one time in their life

just this hodge podge of thoughts and people... really clued in yet running on the hamster wheel. not going anywhere fast, but a total puzzle to me. why do some people insist on hurting themselves and sit idle for the world to effect them in a positive way...

i can help think that there are so many paralyzed people out there for they have been indoctrinated in a certain way to think... sux to be you... sux to be me... for i am the same sort of weak human.

be well, be in touch,
ymjk

there is a great tv show...

hello world,

happy new year! it is year of the rabbit... or so my wife says. she usually is right, so i'll take it as face value...
act like a rabbit... cuz you can!
doesn't that mean that we should all attempt to reproduce today? i don't need a special holiday to feel this way...

cuckoo log:
meds: none
food intake: way too much
physical activity: couch potato... a little fs

who ever is telling the truth? a great show on tv... "lie to me"... i totally am addicted to this show!

teaching my daughter korean... has become one of the most challenging things for me and in her short life... so humbling it almost hurts. i ask myself... was i this hard to teach? i feel for all of my teachers... i must have tried their patience to the limit.

what is happening?

1. looking into fixing up asians with non-asians
2. bringing the world together through love and hobbies
3. want to know why some great people work so hard to do something that is totally non-productive, and others work, and just glide through life doing what society wants... so easily
4. i think that there is so much busy work going on, that people can't get their real priorities in perspective.
5. when too much is not enough... how much is enough?
6. where is there such peace? i think peace is the ultimate challenge... lovin' it...
7. water is everywhere... unfortunately it is in its solid form and slip sliding away...

i've got to drop my daughter off at school... science day! dinosaurs! yippee!!! thank you god for giving me a wife who loves origami...

let me go,
ttyl,
ymjk

cleaning and organizing...

hello world,
today has been a super busy and fun day for a few simple reasons. my son will be celebrating his 7th birthday tomorrow after school. i genuinely look forward to that. this all being said, i would really like to thank a whole lot of people for their support of this space and the way that i am able to unload here is so cathartic, it's almost illegal...

1. my great parents, who are lately saying that they love me... how cute
2. my wife and kids
3. my best buddies, hrm, dl, jc, bc, mr. 5'2", a few others
4. my brother and his family
5. a lot of great anonymous people who make me smile

it's fun trying to be funny, and never actually laughing at your own material. i've been mixing it up, and actually coming to the big apple and pretending to work... it's been super eventful, in its own right, because, being alone is the worst thing for me... but i as of late have been relishing the silence.

so this is going to be the conservatory of ideas:

1. i'm fun, i'm different, i'm an american... i'm a blamer... how do we expect this world to become better if we blame everybody else for our own mess?
2. being a married man, being a father, being a friend and a whack job are my best attributes. i love my anti-psychotic meds. they make for a wonderful night's rest.
3. to shut down my brain takes just 25 mg of meds... can you imagine what making love twice a day would do?
4. why is it that everyone knows where to find me when they need a favor, and whenever i need someone they are no where to be had...?
5. the contrarian point of view is mine, because i like to create irritation, i like to create moments of pondering, i like to rub people the wrong way, because without friction, life for me would be meaningless... can you imagine kissing without tongue? can you imagine smiling without teeth? can you imagine eating without sitting on the can later in the day? it's all very interconnected, and all and every step of the 'life process' is critical.
6. i'm a natural dot connector. i love connecting the dots. don't you know one of my favorite movies of all time is hitch... i love that stuff!
7.

a lost cell phone... and suddenly something to do...

hello world,

my wife lost her cell phone. i was almost happy to say that... does that mean a new iphone 4 is in the works? actually that is not true. i'm not a big iphone fan because it is TOO MUCH FUN! i am a die hard blackberry user, because it is everything i need in a smartphone, and nothing i don't. simple email, simple navigation, simple web, (even though it stinks)... good enough for me...

hope all is well, with the outside world... i have to shop for a new phone for my wife.

all the best,
ymjk

money talks...

good morning world,

some guy named robert burton... he's one of the biggest contributors to univ. of ct. he is demanding a 3 million dollar donation back from the university after it snubbed him. i think it's very important not to snub multi-millionaire donors who happen to be your biggest single individual donor. i have a saying... 'sucks to be you'... it actually is better stated, 'sucks to be uconn'. the greatest thought here is that it's not about 3 million dollars. it's about self respect, and earning your way into the hearts and minds of people that you care to be around.

ever wonder how big projects like university stadiums get built? it is people like burton who spearhead things... with such tremendous generosity and ability. the great thing about life is that these simple words are much more convincing. the article should be retitled, 'don't effin' ignore me...' i am too wealthy and powerful to let these petty details to be even an issue. so mr. ed, (not erectile dysfunction)... (eavesdropper) has his ears peeled, and the topic of the day is simply why and how people can change the way they think about 'me'? the simplest thing to change one's perceived value to any single group is to make sure that people understand your 'essence'... i talk about things like, you're not going to have words like, 'barista', or 'cute' or 'blonde' on your tombstone.

can we really get down to our essence? i surely hope so... so these things/details/thoughts that are almost irrevocable are:

1. i'm a son, and a brother
2. i'm a father
3. i can talk to practically anyone

that being said... i really appreciate the people in my life who relish my uniqueness. there can only be so much time wasted comparing what else, myself or others have to offer... i was just talking to an old friend on the phone, (def. of an old friend..., somebody i knew before i got married). so this dude is a ship broker... i think that's pretty damn impressive. a typical sale will be in the 30-50 million dollar range. the company charges 1.25 percent commission. that translates to something like 500 K in commission. Not to bad to be able to sell one boat a year.

another day... atypical?

7:36 am, i am getting myself ready to go into manhattan for another day of 'work'? it seems that way... actually i love what i do, so i prefer not to call it work...

how does this all go? i'm waiting for breakfast. my coffee is ready, and i should serve myself, but me, being the 'king' of the family is waiting for my wife to come out of the shower, and serve me... i'm such a jerk sometimes.

alas, coffee served... the difference in a person's life before and after a little coffee... it's not even about 'the pick me up effect' of the caffeine... it's just a marker to note... "now the day has begun"... so with and without coffee, with and without a morning hug from my little monsters... all these little details are the important ones. everything else such as if they are on time, and if they are bathed and smell delicious... are the facts of life that my wife takes care of.

i saw louis ck's comedy louie. i don't think the 'real' dads even understand that he's lying. when, and if any comedian truly connects, or 'is there, and was there', when their monologues so intuitively click with the daily goings on of somebody's life... it's not fun, funny, or interesting. i applaud louis ck for being well received. i also think that it's wonderful to make such mundane events comedy to the masses... i just wish there were more niche comedians... like myself who could make fun of the way how this totally dysfunctional society that we live in... continues to warp the minds of young people.

louis ck had part of his show take place on a school bus. the school bus got a flat tire. he called his 'people' and got all the kids of the school bus and they were all sent home in a limo. people who find this fun or funny are simply the kids in the room. i really hope that bringing kids into this mindset that limos are fun and or interesting is really tragic. the best thought i have is to be able to call the parents of each and every kid to pick up their kids... that would be so much better.

let me go... duty calls.

doing business...

dear world,

eavesdropping should be a new olympic sport. i think i would really excel! what i want to tell the world is that with this notion of being a fly on the wall, most if not all people can learn something new about people that they hold in close regard. can you imagine being able to listen to a personal convo., of one of your professors, health care providers, legal aid folks, or even your spouse? it's just so interesting to contemplate what people are, and who people are, when we're not watching/listening... or just pretending to listen...

where does all this stuff end and start? i don't know... the greatest thing in the world is that i have a fly on the wall p.o.v. on what is going on here at my neighborhood caffeine shop.

what is going on here? somebody is trying to sell jet parts, somebody is trying to do some scrap metal business, and somebody is trying to figure out what the hell he is doing dealing with a korean man to sell their beauty supplies...

i can capture the essence of anything or anybody in an instant... is that bad or good? i really don't know... why i care about such trivialities is simply the fact that i have too much time on my hands. enjoy your day! take it to the next level... and take your neighbor in, on the convo. it's sometimes the best convo. you will have... an unexpected one.

so many random occurrences have to transpire for anything meaningful to happen... i could talk about this topic all day... there are no such random events in life.

all the best,
make love and not war,
ymjk

quotes of the morning, mostly from my lovely wife... and there's more...

dear world,

1. "why don't chinese people have any class"

2. "if you sleep next to mommy, you can't hold my arm"

3. "just because they have money..."

4. "they (the chinese) are buying up estates"

5. "i washed them, boiled them for 5 minutes, (speaking of sanitizing/sterilizing some cookie cutters)

6. "cheese 'namasuh'"

7. "dip dip 'hanunguh'"

8. "i have to go to home depot"

9. "do me a favor, go outside and start my car... how can you say that, i'm touching pork... you treat me like a slave... i can't believe it... if i was lying down, i would understand..."

10. "call smart tuition, find out what's going on"

11. "throw away lexus 'yongujuhm', papa"

the beauty of being able to type anything i want, and posting it... it's so cathartic. i was talking to a wonderful intercultural/inter-racial couple at my church yesterday, and i got some serious nuggets of wisdom from them.

let me do a quick background:
female korean, from the korean hills/sticks
caucasian male, was in the air force

so the two marry and live happily ever after... 14 years would pass before she was allowed to go back to korea. her family wanted to make sure, the elder uncles and family all passed away, before it would be a 'comfortable situation'... i don't know if you can get what i'm tryin' to say, it's just that as a group of people, my culture and history is so freakin' closed minded, i cannot believe what it means sometimes to be korean... as i often tell others... i'm korean when it's convenient... i'm american the same way, i'm also dominican, and chilean, if it will give me an edge...

just another quick note about racial profiling. i ran into a dark and lovely gal at one of my fave hangouts... she is totally excellent. a young woman who is in her first or second year of college. what i want to add is that she had an interview with yale university, her romanized name is something like jane hakunamatata. one of the first questions was 'where are you from'...? her quick answer is "new jersey"... just by saying new jersey she nailed her coffin shut. her parents are from nigeria, and if she used the nigeria card, quite frankly, she probably would have been accepted to yale as opposed to being wait-listed. one or two questions, and the following one or two answers... in your life, can be very pivotal. please young people realize that most adults are trying to help you...

let us help you by your helping yourself... don't be a dumbass, use the system, or be used...

i have to let you all go... time to figure out why i am not getting credit for the checks that i sent to my daughter's school...

all the best,
ymjk

i'm going to write a book... about my married life...

hey world,
there is a funny notion that creative people should do creative things, good people should do good things, happy people should do happy things, and professional people should do professional work... what does it mean to be professional? a couple notable quotes from this morning... for those who don't know me personally, i'm married to a japanese born and bred female...

i said to her: "the reason, i love you is that when i'm rich and famous..." her instant replies were:
1. go to home depot and fix the faucet
2. you will never be rich and famous
3. oh my gosh, you have no flavor (sense of)
4. you are so american
5. _______________________, you can fill it in yourself...

the great thing about my wife is i called the dishwasher repair man one time, and it cost something like 180 bucks, and no she doesn't want to use the dishwasher for fear of it breaking again, and having to pay a service man xxx amount of dollars to fix it....

did i ever mention to you that my wife is a country girl? she is so basic... she is so mentally stuck in 1940... i love it... at times.

we compare and compare... and think and worry and stress and wish...

take care world... by the way the name of my book is "dixon doe nuts", a self help book... hidden messages, and hidden meaning in everything... a very personal look into why we do things, and why we want to be some entity that we are not...

all the best,
ymjk

"help I need more"...

world,

today is my first day after my birthday. i wish i could tell you that this day or yesterday will be any different than the thousands of days which preceded them... but i would probably be stretching the truth... when i look around, i see people like lemmings, doing what they are "supposed to do"... i wish they understood the truth is that people are not lemmings, but the opposite... they are weeble wabbles... you push them, and they will always right themselves... the sad fact is, that our true north is something that many people have lost. what is our real goal and aspiration in life? everyday and each moment of my life, i can honestly say that to leave this world a little better than i found it, is my personal reason for living.

my not so little monster just woke up and he is bundled up in his star wars snuggie... seriously one of the cutest things a person can see. our good morning greeting is, "luke, i am your father"... can you imagine, the problem of his morning is that he didn't finish his homework, and my wife is enforcing the homework rules. he is trying to avoid responsiblity...

this morning for fun, i decided to talk about the first few songs that i heard in the morning. well my daughter's alarm clock is set, and when it goes off the song is, "it's a small world"... the fact that this is true and evident in my life is that i honestly and truly believe that this space we call our world is shrinking and is quite intimate.

Today is my birthday... It's a great time to be alive...

To those who care...

This is partially a "I am thankful for" and a "Jeez, I've eaten a lot of", and "I used to obsess about"...

Today, 37 years ago... that would be 1974 to those who are arithmetically challenged... a boy was born to a woman, who was expecting a girl... No lie or exaggeration when I say, this is how it went down...

My mother's ob/gyn doc presented me to my mother... My mother's first quote after I squirted out of her was, "it's a girl right?", my doctor responded, "no, it's a boy..." puzzled, and pissed, my mothers terse response was "no... send it back!!!" needless to say my mother was hoping and expecting me to be female... bottom line: "you can't always get what you want"...

Word association is something I truly enjoy... When I mention something as random as:
1. Thermos: for some reason I think of my first real thermos bottle. I don't remember what sort of cartoon it had on it, but I was so proud... I must have been about 4 or 5 years old. Isn't it so nice to be able to remember that long ago, in such a positive yet random way? I am truly grateful...

2. Gummy Bears: I used to eat these little confections by the pound. Sometimes more than a pound at a time. I remember all the weird gummy bear tricks we used to do... put them in the microwave oven to get softer, biting off their heads and attaching other bodies to them... the list goes on...

3. Peanut M & M 's... I used to be addicted to these, "melt in your mouth, and not in your hand" creations... I have been known to eat an entire 2 lbs. bag in one sitting. Man oh man... doesn't diabetes want to rock my world???

4. Z Cavaricci: You know this might be puberty talking... but I remember and love these brand of pants. The reason I mention these pants is a young man that I know asked me to tailor his new pants super tight, and super short... almost exactly how we wore the Z Cav's... a true blast from the past... take a look at this:

http://www.inthe80s.com/clothes/zcavaricci.shtml

5. Those of you who are not latch key kids might not know what it means to have:
1. Elio's Pizza
2. Perdue Chicken Nuggets
3. "Jang jorim"
4. White Rice
5. Gallons of Trop. Pure Premium Orange Juice
6. Sapporo Ichiban Original Ramen
7. Ice pops or Ice cream

The strange thing is as long as my home has some or part of these in the fridge/freezer/pantry, I feel a sense of security. Life is not about the things in your heart of mind sometimes, but the thing in your fridge/freezer/pantry... Who would have ever guessed?

I will let you go now...

Be well, and sleep tight,
ymjk

happy birthday to my not so little monster...

to the world...

little people getting older can be a bit depressing... i refuse to get depressed... my little monster is a not so little monster, and was born on a brisk but glorious eve, of the 17th of january. i cannot believe it sometimes, but as he gets bigger and wiser, i just have a few words to the wise... grasp your innocence, curiosity, and purity and keep it as long as humanly possible.

his birthday wish is: "yghfjrlguijflvbujigkigjigieblp800np7uR{[66666666$"P% 5i67h[" (he actually typed that himself... but he told me, "i don't know yet, i have to go to toys r us"... as you can imagine, birthday wishes are made from and fulfilled at toys r us....

be well, and god bless...

ymjk

the great, the interesting, the not so welcome...

today is a sunday, today is a church day...

notable quotes:

"that's the ugliest sweater i have seen all holiday season"
"be praiseworthy, be good, be a good"
"don't you know who she is? she's a very famous and talented kor-am tv announcer"
"the reason i am here is because i am waiting for an hour and a half to get

people so proud and so in need for attention say the damndest things... hope that you don't know what i'm getting at, but i pretend that you do...

all the best,
ymjk

i get these thoughts... i get these words... but from where???

to whom it may concern:

i must make a confession this morning... some of these thoughts are so random, i can't put my finger on it. some of them are not... you know there are concepts such as life, love and death that resound in my head almost each and every moment of my life. i think as well about the music and the sounds, the smells and the touches that really make movement in my mind and brain...

"all the secrets and answers are inside the cave" - this quote is a notable one this morning for it is about a game... "pokepark" is the name of the game and my big monster is totally infatuated with. it's not even relevant to why he loves it... but i love the fact that the principle of the game is making enemies your friends... pokemon... who in this cyber mush... let me get back to you...

ttyl,
ymjk

What does it take???

What does it take???

the beauty of my life is that I would often crave the attention... I would ask the question... "What does it take to get somebody's attention/time/presence/advice"?

Simply stated, one has to simply accept their vulnerability and accept... that is the first stage to asking for help, and defining a relationship with any certain mr. or ms. "x"... why do I bring these notions to light? well, quite frankly, I have been meeting a lot of lonely people, and it's very confusing to me how somebody can be so vibrant and loquacious (look it up) with me, yet seem tongue tied when it is 'battle time'...

I love writing lists... I love lists for the fact that they are to the point, and usually one doesn't have to be to into anything to listen to and digest a list... here we go... a typical day in the life...

"you might be ymjk if:"

1. you spend too much time at places like starbucks and panera and are more interested in their free wifi than with taking time to get acquainted with the staff and or patrons.

2. the most divisive thing in your day would be whiter or not to like someone by the way and the place he parks... a "little man" just parked his car in front of the space, like a total ass... and that's his usual space... why are some people just accepted as being a dick and some are vilified? btw, my neighbor does the same thing... should i treat him any other way?

3. closing your eyes feels good... I have so much stimuli in my head that simply closing my eyes can enable me to tune into what is going on, and what is the moment truly about...

4. making a list of to do items is your natural sop, (standard operating procedure)... but you are so 'busy' and disregard it... busy is a point of view, as opposed to a physical need.

5. your vision of a successful day is to be punched in the face... wtf???

6. the weebles wobble, but they don't fall down... many times your favorite toy or super hero is the personification of what or who you aspired to be/do...

7. your sense of smell scares people...

later folks,
ymjk

mlk day manifesto...

things to ponder...

1. mlk's dream is totally not done/completed/in motion... start it up, and live the dream folks!
2. why does it have to take a death to get people to realize the severity of the inequality of most modern people. some really disturbed dude goes bananas in a 'safeway' in tuscon... that's just a play on words there and it's not fun/funny/cute/neat or anything... but think about what a 'safeway' is...
3. i feel for all the folks who have lost people to terrorism/stupidity/war/ignorance/miscommunication/human error/conflicts of opinion...
4. i mentioned the fact that: "it's cheaper to keep her"... you know, that is so true... but mentally challenged folks like the gun people of old, and new... when will the insanity stop?
5. i am more happy than usual... the sad/spooky part of life is that i don't concentrate on work priorities when i'm happy... is there soemthing wrong with that notion? how can work and happy be put in the same thought?
6. stop talking about me, and i... it's so freakin' selfish... that's something that people think or say... why are you so egocentric? gosh, oh my... the reason is simple... i'm in love with myself... (that is not really funny, but to me it is...)
7. please hug a stranger... that's what i think love is... remember i feel that love is sacrifice, i feel that love is under-appreciated... and the great thought here is, whisper to someone you hate, and yell at someone you love... wound that make someone smile? it would make me smile...
8. rambling like this is almost cool... cuz larry david (seinfeld, and curb your enthusiasm fame) is able to monetize it, he's really neat... on the other hand... no money equals i'm just wasting my time...
9. when you want... just call me... you know my number...
10. what do you want from me?
11. 11 is prime!

all the best to all,
ymjk

how cool... and silly we can be...

ode to dr. eclectic:

1. drives an all wheel drive vehicle literally everyday... even on snow days... a/k/a a 4 door cathedral on wheels...
http://www.bentleymotors.com/models/continental_flying_spur_speed/detailed_specification/

2. plans the future of his 6 year old going to princeton

3. reads a ton... seems to have a photographic memory

4. super cool in many ways... just seems to be a hard nut to crack, but remember, hard exterior... warm and sweet interior

5. studies everything... reads people like his books also

6. as a child... admired batman... personally i admired capt. america

7. had a 'my playground is bigger than your playground' moment with a plastic surgeon... the plastic surgeon said... this is my toy... now what's yours? it was the bentley v. the lambo gallardo superleggera, some very classic words and thoughts were exchanged...

all the best,
ymjk

what can you say to make me smile...

1. I like Hello Kitty, because she's thick
2. What is it that you do? You 'read me like a book'
3. Who the hell... you think you are...
4. If I was southern, I'd be from Texas... we're badder and browner down there...
5. I'm going to be the poop doctor
6. Why does it feel so good to poop?
7. Pooping and eating... should go together... isn't it strange that it doesn't?

things that I over hear...

1. Do you like being a jerk/dick/asshole/non-filtered talker?
2. What is your problem?
3. Is there something I can do to make you happy?
4. What is it with you… since you have money, you don’t understand…
5. Thank you for doing the dishes
6. How do I look?
7. What time is it?
8. What is the license plate of the Acura?
9. How often do you think about sex?
10. What is it??? Did I do something wrong?
11. We have to talk in private…
12. Are you trying to get thrown out?
13. You have to take your 10… sit down…
14. Mr. Smelly, is just “a part of life”
15. You are so detached from reality, but I kind of like your thoughts
16. Who do you think you are?
17. What… you think I’m 30 something???

How do I respond…
1. Yes I love who I am
2. Stupid people, and ignorance
3. Change NY/NJ society… one person at a time
4. I wasn’t always this jaded… I used to work like a mule too
5. Tomorrow…
6. Just give me a kiss
7. 9:20…
8. 53… I know it’s 53 something… (having 5 cars in the family… just keeping the plates and reg. info. straight can be a PITA (pain in the ass))
9. All the time
10. You chew to loudly… more like you smack your lips…
11. Oh no… am I in trouble again?
12. Yes, sometimes I am… but only for the right reasons
13. OK
14. I doubt that… I love Mr. Smelly
15. That is one of the greatest pieces of praise a guy like me can get
16. I’m Captain America
17. That’s a private joke… Ask the little ghost aka Casperina…

be well...
live long and prosper,
ymjk

ode to round table... (aka fluffy gal)

In trouble… ALWAYS… there is a world that I miss… that’s the world of innocent and honest discourse… how is it that when we get older things mean more and more, whilst we neglect the more important people…

This morning was a good one…

Quotes overheard:

1. This store, these partners, my guests are my life… (talking to a Starbucks store manager).
2. I heard you wanted me to grow some balls and kick you out, (same Starbucks manager talking about my not so well received attitude)
3. A guy got out of his car and grabbed the cop who was directing traffic…

What this all means to me:
1. People are too involved with their profession and their 9 to 5 has consumed their being… it is sad when you have a dozen people from your workplace invited to your wedding, but are not able to be forthright with them in regards to how life should be lived… it’s all about veneers… too many freakin veneers in the world…
2. The way that others are perceived is fueled by gossip and not honest discussion.
3. No respect for the law, no respect for orderly flow of traffic… the people of this world are going to hell in a hand basket…

Why is it that some people relish being the center of attention? I honestly believe that it is a function of being either neglected as a child, or being dropped on your head… in my case, I believe that both hold true. There are so many people who need their boat righted… a few simple notable quotes from my own thoughts…

1. If I fail miserably, like EPIC FAILURE… I will be forced to move down to Orlando, Florida
2. New York / New Jersey people are living in a dark cave… would someone kindly turn on the lights?
3. What is it with order and quiet that people love so much? I am getting so bored of it all…

HATE WHAT YOU LOVE... LOVE WHAT YOU HATE...

1. I love my children
2. I love myself
3. I love my family

almost in that order...

1. I hate shoveling snow
2. I hate getting sweaty like a wetback
3. I hate stupid people

almost doesn't matter which order...

now, the lesson is to create a paradigm (yeah, look it up) shift... please neglect your "prizes/gifts/talents and responsibilities" for a moment... do you feel useless? i hope not...

secondly, put attention to stuff that you generally would pay a non documented alien to do... take care of it yourself... it's therapy my boys and girls... simple cold truth... do what you prefer others to do for you... it's the meaning of becoming mature and an adult...

thank you god for making me such a hypocrite... i love saying one thing and doing the other... it's really a blessing that you make me run white hot, and i forget what i'm preaching... (not always)... but often the truth...

hugs and kisses,
ymjk

ode to the little man...

Ode to the little man…

I just had a wonderful conversation with one of my closest/newest/most in tune friends. You know that there are a few things I may or may have not mentioned… the way the world works is not logical… the time which we spend on the planet is limited, and there are only a handful of moments that truly defines our lives… I want those moments to be innumerable… and not qualified… As those of who can guess about the real meaning of time and the real meaning of healing… Through sharing and through transparency come love and sacrifice, (actually one in the same)… Key points that I want to mention in no particular order (which may or may not have been mentioned in this one particular convo. are):

1. We talked about how a famous comedian stated, “Life is Amazing, but Nobody is Happy”… isn’t it so strange how good we have it, yet continue to whine/complain/bitch/moan/blame???
2. I have issues with the fact that we can be the bestest of friends, as long as we attend/study at/ study at/work at the same church/school/university/company… as soon as our environment changes… we are lost…
3. “I have never felt short”… (the person who said this is ‘technically shorter than the average adult’, yet full of life and realizes “short” is a sense of inferiority or incompleteness, and does not comply to that notion)
4. Why do I feel a lot like the torment and punishment of Tyler Clementi is never forgettable? 9-11-2001 will forever live in our hearts and memories… but will Tyler’s 9-22-2010 passing be memorialized?
5. What does it mean to be “good enough”… I honestly believe that too many Asian-American adolescents commit identity suicide to placate their parents.

You know it wouldn't be enough to just state some random ass facts without the BOTTOM LINE... the take away message here is think whatever you want to think, be positive, be confident, be constructive, be happy... HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE! Too many of those around us are playing the "compare me to the world" game... it's utter nonsense... Talk it out, and rejoice in regards to the uniqueness of your life... Be one, be different, be BODACIOUS!

peace and a big hug to all,
ymjk

ode to dr. cryalot...

ode to dr. cryalot...

there is a young person that i shared a considerable amount of time... the typical ethnic success story... here we go with 17 points of interest with regards to our melding of the minds...

1. the harder and meaner you look on the outside, the warmer and fuzzier you are on the inside...
2. i was alone a lot as a young adult and refuse to let my little monsters repeat such an existence.
3. to be reprimanded from a friend can be more hopeful than hurtful...
4. i don't have as many friends as you think... i really really on my core inner circle... are you one of the 11 on the inner circle? i hope you hope so...
5. IMHO, you're not my friend if you steal from me... you're probably my child...
6. when you start crying and i smile... it's a GOOD THING... we call it breakthrough...
7. don't be a girl in a boys world, and don't be a boy in a girls world... be YOURSELF...
8. BE A CUCKOO! i don't know what it means... but it's all good... the weird thing is via my new information from wikipedia, it seems like cuckoo birds are solitary animals... there is a great time and place for all... if you are cuckoo, please look for help and consolation through medical/spiritual/physical means...
9. a specialist is what is appreciated and respected by society... a generalist is what we all would prefer to be... remember specialists are paid and received better... 'be a pinky specialist', aka, be a 'splinter removal surgeon'...
10. loving numbers is about loving order... why is it that guys love numbers, and girls love handbags and shoes?
11. i offer the world to those who already have it... look deep within and you already know what it is you're searching for... you knew your situation/response best when you were a child... rediscover what it means to be 6...
12. make me smile, you feed me for a day... make me think/cry... you challenge me for a lifetime...
13. "you speak english well for a yellow person"... the effect a quote from my departed 8th grade teacher mr. AB... this quote was pivotal for me to be a stickler for english grammar, adj., and adv. agreement...
14. why is it that most people who don't understand what you are talking about just agree with you?
15. thinking like a christian is nonsense... acting like a christian is divine...
16. thanks to seroquel, i don't have much of a memory... forget all the difficult moments? never... use them and congregate around people who will remember for you... net net... thanks to my wife, blackberry and email, i am not able to forget... ;(
17. skating after school and keeping my promises... seem totally divergent... but they are one in the same...

BOTTOM LINE:
MAKE LOTS OF LOVE, SLEEP WELL, SLEEP TIGHT... CRY A LOT, EAT WELL...
TAKE YOUR ENEMIES OUT OF YOUR MIND... MAKE YOUR ENEMIES YOUR FRIENDS, FEED, BRIBE, LISTEN AND SHARE!!!

love this one:
use or be used... to be used is natural... to be vengeful is human...

always and faithfully,
ymjk

carpe diem...

cuckoo log:

meds: 25 mg. seroquel
physical activity: minimal... did do some ice skating
mental musings: another day, another dime...

Carpe diem… To some that means “seize the day”… to me it means… life is a series of moments… every moment means something… and look to them as a means of optimizing your TPO… your time place and opportunity.

What does all this rambling mean? Well, this morning I was speaking of how boring and controlled my life is… and well, the response is… actually I enjoy being who I am… Does anyone feel controlled by the fact that other parties are “paying your way”??? Does it ever feel like your parents or “loved ones” are controlling you by telling you what you can and can’t do because they are “paying for you”… well, there is a fun little anecdote I have for this…

My day yesterday involved about 4 hours of being at a very lovely ice skating rink… at the rink, I met, the “big red hen”… I forget people’s names, and create a nickname… it’s just the kind of person that I am… so I was talking to the “big red hen”, and she was saying a lot of great stuff regarding being a mother, and being in control of her kid’s daily life decisions. She mentioned that she pays for her son’s tuition at college, and due to privacy rules… that she wasn’t able to access or see her son’s report card. I think that is a lovely problem of success… People who are successful, are used to getting their way… People who are failures are used to being stepped on… is that fair? I don’t think anything is fair… that’s why I just do mental diarrhea in this space to avoid from getting belligerent to my fellow men and women of society.

Who is paying for the fulfillment of your dreams? If you say you are paying all by your lonesome, I contend that you are a liar and a pirate… With that, I wore a pirate hat the other day… it was almost funny to tell folks that I am a pirate and they are too… Why is it that wealth is not perceived as a zero sum game… If I earn something, I am taking away from somebody else… isn’t that an obvious notion with anything that is limited? We are destroying or planet slowly but surely in the name of development and comfort… We are changing the way people think because and through the advent of technology and sophisticated communication tools.

What is getting in the way of having a meaningful conversation with a perfectly nice stranger? It is about not being beneficial to each other… why is everyone looking for “what do you bring to the table”… I have a definitive answer to that notion… everyone is a warm body, and if you were stranded on a desert island… I would have lots of dumb stories to keep the inhabitants of the island smiling or p***ed off… remember the notion of story telling is losing its brilliance because nobody in modern society has a “real” attention span… if you don’t shock somebody in the first 10 seconds, they will leave you alone… bottom line… The worst punishment for a megalomaniac like me is to “ignore” me…

another day passes...

to all that care...
another day of rambling on...

11 thoughts from a very happy man...

1. some people don't like that i can talk to anyone anytime anywhere...
2. being excessively anything is bad, other than excessively good looking, and rich are the two exceptions for me (personally, ahem)...
3. i met a jw, (jehovah's witness) couple... they were super cool... he italian american... she was from some latin american country, but they had a great energy to them... this dispelled a belief that they all knock on doors and want to give you something to read while you poop...
4. it's going to snow today... i see it peeking out already... i love the snow, as long as i don't have to shovel it.
5. i have to be too fat... the first thing my mom says to me is watch your diet... like... it's going to go anywhere...
6. people can be very particular and angry about anything... 'same finish' in the dry cleaning business means the same style... i have a tailor who doesn't listen to instructions... he's very sorry for that... you know, i don't follow instructions, and people laugh... what gives?
7. why is it so lonely at the top?
8. those who strive are those who don't care about what the others say...

FYI: i used to race little dinghies in cooledge...

9. a son asks his dad... make me a boat... his father complies, and makes the boat... the son thinks to himself... let me sail around the world... actually, i want to make MY OWN BOAT...
10. the wind takes you anywhere you want to go as long as you know what it means to 'tack, jibe, and watch the boom'....
11. big sails need big air to fill em... be careful for what you wish for...

peace and blessings,
ymjk, aka h20, aka crazy yellowman, aka hey you... please sit down, aka the resident...
:)